I have mentioned before that I am a member of an ecumenical Christian-based retreat called Keryx. (See: SPIRITUAL RETREAT). Beautiful facets of this spiritual outreach are the weekly group fellowship gatherings. Essentially, such amount to a venue where questions can be explored, reassurance can be gleaned from people who have encountered similar struggles, and so forth. Think of it as preventative maintenance. Spiritual maintenance. Similarly, there are monthly gatherings which are little more than a social assembly and sing-a-long. A hootenanny, if you will.
All of these sound neat, and they are, but it is the retreat weekends scheduled twice a year that we all look forward to. Not only do we share in the experience of new candidates encountering a unique spiritual presence, but also there is an opportunity to reacquaint ourselves with people from the "free” community. For four days we feel like normal people, as opposed to outcasts. When the weekend concludes we leave feeling spiritually charged.
As with all things in life, changes have made their way to our retreat. Big changes. So catastrophic are the changes that there are no particular aspects of the reform that have been accepted with enthusiasm. Both the inside team (us) and volunteers from the community are, how shall I phrase this...frustrated. However, I will extend brownie points to the Keryx board for meeting with us ahead of time to outline the changes and provide a forum to present questions and hear our grievances. Though there seems to be a consensus that our complaints were not listened to...in one ear, out the other. Begrudgingly, some of the answers to our queries were pat and unsatisfactory. Even so, many of the disclosures appeared to carry a genuine ring of truth, which they should. Nonetheless, several answers were viewed as suspect.
In the end, the bulk of the changes amounted to severely reducing the size of the inside team. In other words, where thirty to forty inmates would volunteer with the retreat, we would now be restricted to ten! Ouch.
It should be noted, or understood, that the retreat is intended to bring non-be1ievers or weak Christians deeper into the fold of the Christian flock. But, what about those of us who are desperately thirsty for the recharging waters which possess the properties to rejuvenate our enthusiasm, which has been sapped by the perils of this environment? What about those of us who want/need to reconnect with those individuals from the ”free” community who were so instrumental in showing us what brotherly love was? Friendships were fostered.
Apparently, we have been cast aside! No brotherly love. No compassion. From we can gather, all because of a couple of board members. There is a certain underlying irony -- incarceration strips a person of hope, value, and worth. Participating as part of the Keryx team eased some of that despair. Note, past tense! Once again, because of the decisions of the Keryx board, we feel disposable. A means to an end.
At this juncture I must again reiterate, these retreats are for the candidates, not those of us who have already received the gift. It’s easy to overlook this aspect in times of frustration. But, still ....
Despite the changes, and overlooking my sophomoric grumblings, I believe so fully in this retreat that I continue to pledge my support, regardless of the new direction. After all, we still have the weekly gatherings and once a month hootenannies! Now, between you and me, the weekly and monthly get-togethers are most important to maintaining our spiritual strength. Note, if you divulge that I said this, such comments will be emphatically denied!
Let’s continue on.
By sheer luck, others will say divine intervention, I was invited to volunteer at the upcoming weekend retreat during the spring (I was asked to give a speech outlining the struggles each candidate could anticipate). This opportunity provided an optimal vantage point to evaluate old and new program approaches. The question becomes, could I be impartial with my comparisons? Admittedly, I liked the way we previously managed the retreat weekends. However, if I am going to be honest, and it pains me to say this, the restructured weekend runs incredibly smooth with a smaller team. The new approach, for lack of a better phrase, is more intimate and focused. This is not to say that both ways have their place. If I were to pick one...I won’t. After all, isn’t that is why there is a Keryx board?
Hang on a moment. Yes, I am going to choose. The old system is preferred because of the reasons already set forth. Having that spiritual charge every six months can bolster a person's motivation. That being said, there is another factor to consider, a huge factor. Throughout the retreat weekend there are scheduled intermissions. These breaks provide candidates an opportunity to stretch their legs, decompress, and digest what has been shared with them. However, there is another aspect which may have been foolishly overlooked: these short recesses provide an opportunity for candidates to acquaint themselves with the thirty or forty members of the inside team. A slow integration into the flock, so to speak. Conversely, with the smaller team there were fewer opportunities to meet and welcome them, we were otherwise occupied.
At first glance this lack of interaction does not raise so much as an eyebrow. But, and this is where matters become sticky, when candidates initially complete a weekend and begin attending the scheduled fellowship gatherings, they are unfamiliar with nearly everyone who is present and established. To put it in perspective, how do you feel when walking into an organized group and are unfamiliar with most of the attendees? Overwhelmed? Filled with anxiety? Out of place, like you don't fit in? Unnoticed?
With the old system, friendships were fostered with the Keryx fellowship before the weekend ended. With the new approach, the attrition rate for candidates has been significant. The new members do not know the majority and end up falling away unnoticed. I say "unnoticed” because the fellowship has no inkling of who they are, either. Literally. Just some strange face. This is the result of the two sides never having met. A paralyzing consequence of the new revisions!
If the program stays the same and does not revert back to its previous ways, the inside fellowship will need to take a more proactive role with the new candidates and help them feel welcome and comfortable. They require confirmation that they are important. Perhaps this is exactly the type of responsibility we need to grow as students of Christ. As for losing the opportunity to be re-charged every six months during the retreats? This is just me speaking here, but maybe we should consider changing our focus...the weekly fellowships are a place to maintain our forward progress; the monthly hootenannies in turn provide us a spiritual charge, assuming we are open to the process.
April 2011
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