"Oblates
are committed in a special way to make our whole lives an offering of
love, praise, and thanksgiving to God" (Lessons from Saint
Benedict, Fr. Donald S. Raila, O.S.B.) .
* * *
Embracing the tenets of my Benedictine oblation is, well, a work in progress. Reciting the words of this promise is one thing; living such is quite a different story. One component in particular can be either taxing or rewarding, depending entirely on one's fortitude at any given moment: "I...promise to dedicate myself to the service of God and mankind according to the Rule of Saint Benedict in so far as my state of life permits."
As it so happens, I am spiritually lazy. Conversely, I also am very spiritually acute. An oxymoron? No. Such is simply a reflection of two extremes of a particular disposition.
Invited to celebrate the memorial of Our Lady of Mount Carmel by a Carmelite friend, we met publicly for Vespers. Being that we are incarcerated this meant that we gathered in the least intrusive location, a hallway! This unusual substitute chapel carries its own peculiar distractions, but we entered the protective cloak of the Holy Spirit and commenced to pray with the whole Church.
The Rule of Saint Benedict counsels us to renounce ourselves in order to follow Christ (RB 4.10), not to injure anyone (RB 4.30), and to turn away from our desires (RB 7.19). These are fine nuggets of wisdom, but the ugly vices of selfishness and pride are always lurking in the dark crevices of my fault lines. How easy it is for me to become not only distracted by the temporal, but engrossed.
My oblation and study of the Rule helps me stay grounded, but even these anchors tend to be dislodged from time to time. See, I did not feel like denouncing competing interests in order to pray the Office. Worldly comforts, mind you. Sure, I could skip out on the evening prayers (cf RB 4.10); nobody would know...uh, that is except for God and our holy Mother. Ouch, the Community of Saints and Church Suffering and angels would know, too. This is horrible to admit, but it is easier to turn on them than it is my friend. Nonetheless, I really felt like doing something else (cf RB 7.19), but to do so would result with intentional injury of my friend (cf RB 4.30).
With parched enthusiasm I succumbed to the prodding of the Holy Spirit to fulfill my obligation to love. Not myself, but God and neighbor. Aargh, it was with an empty heart in which these liturgical prayers were entered. Sadly, there was even a smidgen of resentment (it is a wonder that I have not been forsaken).
Tugging and wrestling, once settled into this sacrifice of self in order to glorify God through ardent recognition of his Mother, my angst melted away. As we progressed deeper into the liturgy, the more I died to self and embraced Jesus, Mary, and my Carmelite brother (or would he be my cousin). When we had finished there was that familiar sweetness which our Lord rewards us with when pesky obstacles are overcome. In this instance, I was the obstacle!
The Christian walk is not easy. Far from it. Why I would complicate my journey with oblation is beyond comprehension (you'll have to ask God). Well, this last sentiment is not necessarily accurate. On its face, oblation would appear to hamper one's spiritual formation. However, nothing could be further from reality; obedience to the guidance offered through the Rule has enriched my relationship with Christ, Mary, neighbor, and self. No doubt, I continue to kick and scream when the Holy Spirit infringes too far into the way I think life should be, but when I finally submit, it is amazing how much richer and sensible life becomes. As my local priest, Fr. Lou, is wont to say, "Karl, God is not finished with you, yet." * * *
The aim of Benedictine prayer is to assist the monk (Oblate) to live his whole life in eager receptivity to God's will. He is to become a 'living prayer.' He is to live a life progressively dedicated to God and responsive to grace" (Raila).
Marana tha....
Embracing the tenets of my Benedictine oblation is, well, a work in progress. Reciting the words of this promise is one thing; living such is quite a different story. One component in particular can be either taxing or rewarding, depending entirely on one's fortitude at any given moment: "I...promise to dedicate myself to the service of God and mankind according to the Rule of Saint Benedict in so far as my state of life permits."
As it so happens, I am spiritually lazy. Conversely, I also am very spiritually acute. An oxymoron? No. Such is simply a reflection of two extremes of a particular disposition.
Invited to celebrate the memorial of Our Lady of Mount Carmel by a Carmelite friend, we met publicly for Vespers. Being that we are incarcerated this meant that we gathered in the least intrusive location, a hallway! This unusual substitute chapel carries its own peculiar distractions, but we entered the protective cloak of the Holy Spirit and commenced to pray with the whole Church.
The Rule of Saint Benedict counsels us to renounce ourselves in order to follow Christ (RB 4.10), not to injure anyone (RB 4.30), and to turn away from our desires (RB 7.19). These are fine nuggets of wisdom, but the ugly vices of selfishness and pride are always lurking in the dark crevices of my fault lines. How easy it is for me to become not only distracted by the temporal, but engrossed.
My oblation and study of the Rule helps me stay grounded, but even these anchors tend to be dislodged from time to time. See, I did not feel like denouncing competing interests in order to pray the Office. Worldly comforts, mind you. Sure, I could skip out on the evening prayers (cf RB 4.10); nobody would know...uh, that is except for God and our holy Mother. Ouch, the Community of Saints and Church Suffering and angels would know, too. This is horrible to admit, but it is easier to turn on them than it is my friend. Nonetheless, I really felt like doing something else (cf RB 7.19), but to do so would result with intentional injury of my friend (cf RB 4.30).
With parched enthusiasm I succumbed to the prodding of the Holy Spirit to fulfill my obligation to love. Not myself, but God and neighbor. Aargh, it was with an empty heart in which these liturgical prayers were entered. Sadly, there was even a smidgen of resentment (it is a wonder that I have not been forsaken).
Tugging and wrestling, once settled into this sacrifice of self in order to glorify God through ardent recognition of his Mother, my angst melted away. As we progressed deeper into the liturgy, the more I died to self and embraced Jesus, Mary, and my Carmelite brother (or would he be my cousin). When we had finished there was that familiar sweetness which our Lord rewards us with when pesky obstacles are overcome. In this instance, I was the obstacle!
The Christian walk is not easy. Far from it. Why I would complicate my journey with oblation is beyond comprehension (you'll have to ask God). Well, this last sentiment is not necessarily accurate. On its face, oblation would appear to hamper one's spiritual formation. However, nothing could be further from reality; obedience to the guidance offered through the Rule has enriched my relationship with Christ, Mary, neighbor, and self. No doubt, I continue to kick and scream when the Holy Spirit infringes too far into the way I think life should be, but when I finally submit, it is amazing how much richer and sensible life becomes. As my local priest, Fr. Lou, is wont to say, "Karl, God is not finished with you, yet." * * *
The aim of Benedictine prayer is to assist the monk (Oblate) to live his whole life in eager receptivity to God's will. He is to become a 'living prayer.' He is to live a life progressively dedicated to God and responsive to grace" (Raila).
Marana tha....
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