Do
you ever wish that our Lord would have prescribed different language
in the Bible? No, I am not referring to easier commandments and less
burdensome expectations. Instead, it is those phrases which come
across wonky or simply do not appear to be applicable to contemporary
culture.
I like to think of myself as a manly man. In my heart of hearts, it is believed that others perceive the same of me. Mind you, I am also balanced by a softer side, too. Compassion. Empathy. Understanding. And, yes, love. This gentler disposition notwithstanding, what was Jesus thinking when he employed the imagery of him being the bridegroom and us the bride?
In the current climate of our culture the application of "bride" to my identity causes me to squirm. Why that noun? Buddy, pal, friend, chum, confidant, sidekick, or a host of other monikers would more pleasantly have sufficed. No matter how secure a fella is in his masculinity, such a frilly designation is unsettling. It is imagined that males from two thousand years ago said, "What!"
Bear with me a little longer, this ranting is not yet complete!
Saint Paul, when addressing the community in Corinth, stated the following: "I betrothed you to Christ to present you as a pure bride to her one husband" (2 Corinthians 11:2 RSVCE). In the Parable of the Wise and Foolish Maidens, it appears on the surface that Jesus is passively speaking of the fairer sex (Matthew 25:1-13). Ha! In every homily or sermon or study group we have ever been exposed to where the Christian body is being expounded upon, the Church is always implicated as "she" and "bride." By proxy, this seems to indicate that us red blooded males fall within the category of "bride!" Aargh. And, let's not overlook Saint John's encounter with an angel during a dream: "'Come, I will show you the Bride, the wife of the Lamb'" (Revelation 21:9). Another indica of the Church.
Such allusions are not confined to the New Testament. "'For your Maker is your husband...the Lord has called you to be his wife'" (Isaiah 54:5-6). Thus says the Lord, "'I remember the devotion of your youth, your love as a bride'" (Jeremiah 2:2). Perhaps the most revealing intent of bride is what follows: "'And in that day, says the Lord, you will call me, "My Husband,"...[a]nd I will betroth you to me forever'" (Hosea 3:16, 19). C'mon!
With all of the proof texts outlined above, it has become impractical to continue plunking my head in the sand and pretending that these feminine phrasings were some hiccup during the translation process. Nonetheless, there still remains that quintessential struggle within the contemporary male mind, the manly mind. Not that getting to the crux of this bride conundrum was ever at the top of my list to discern, if in my scope of view at all. Yet, when reading or hearing references to such, there still resonates that creepy twinge. No, I am not some Neanderthal or male chauvinist pig. "Ugh, ugh, ugh...me Tarzan, she Jane!" Maybe the Holy Spirit, in his comedic way, is trying to humble me, to humble all of us fellas.
There is one more unsettling factor which contributes to what may amount to a phobia. Kisses. Not to belabor this point, but why? "O that you [Hebrew: he] would kiss me with the kisses of your [Hebrew: his] mouth" (Song of Solomon 1:2). Really! Taking all of this together, I am jumping out of my skin....
In a curious twist, reflecting on my adolescence, it is a surprise that any of this nonsense of the mind is bothersome. See, I used to kiss my mom and dad every night before going to bed, an expressed token of love. Right on the lips. If close family friends were present, they'd receive the same kisses. Right on the lips. Of course, these almost family members would not receive the words of love as my parents did. Come to think of it, I may have carried this innocent practice a little too deep into my youth - even I could detect in myself a sense of discomfort in kissing company. But, it must be admitted, I miss giving and receiving those kisses!
While reading "Sermons on the Song of Songs," Saint Bernard of Clairvaux (the patron whose name I took when becoming and Oblate of Saint Benedict), he eloquently addressed this contemporary nuptual dichotomy between Christ being the Bridegroom and us as the brides, male and female. "[B]ridegroom and bride. Between these all things are equally shared, there are no selfish reservations, nothing that causes division. They share the same inheritance, the same table, the same home, the same marriage-bed, they are flesh of each others flesh. 'This is why a man leaves his father and mother and joins himself to his wife, and they become one body.' The bride for her part is bidden to 'forget her nation and her ancestral home,' so that the bridegroom may fall in love with her beauty. Therefore if a love relationship is the special and outstanding characteristic of the bride and groom, it is not unfitting to call the soul that loves God a bride" (Sermon 7: Intimacies of the Love of God).
Taking time to discern Saint Bernard's counsel, it has become wholly necessary that I abandon any discomfort or feebleness in this regard. Actually, through Saint Bernard's assistance the phrasing which Jesus employed is quite beautiful. Sadly, I have permitted cultural and temporal ideals to negatively impact spiritual growth. All of which to say: Jesus, may I be your bride, may we enter more completely into that conventional marriage relationship?
Marana tha
I like to think of myself as a manly man. In my heart of hearts, it is believed that others perceive the same of me. Mind you, I am also balanced by a softer side, too. Compassion. Empathy. Understanding. And, yes, love. This gentler disposition notwithstanding, what was Jesus thinking when he employed the imagery of him being the bridegroom and us the bride?
In the current climate of our culture the application of "bride" to my identity causes me to squirm. Why that noun? Buddy, pal, friend, chum, confidant, sidekick, or a host of other monikers would more pleasantly have sufficed. No matter how secure a fella is in his masculinity, such a frilly designation is unsettling. It is imagined that males from two thousand years ago said, "What!"
Bear with me a little longer, this ranting is not yet complete!
Saint Paul, when addressing the community in Corinth, stated the following: "I betrothed you to Christ to present you as a pure bride to her one husband" (2 Corinthians 11:2 RSVCE). In the Parable of the Wise and Foolish Maidens, it appears on the surface that Jesus is passively speaking of the fairer sex (Matthew 25:1-13). Ha! In every homily or sermon or study group we have ever been exposed to where the Christian body is being expounded upon, the Church is always implicated as "she" and "bride." By proxy, this seems to indicate that us red blooded males fall within the category of "bride!" Aargh. And, let's not overlook Saint John's encounter with an angel during a dream: "'Come, I will show you the Bride, the wife of the Lamb'" (Revelation 21:9). Another indica of the Church.
Such allusions are not confined to the New Testament. "'For your Maker is your husband...the Lord has called you to be his wife'" (Isaiah 54:5-6). Thus says the Lord, "'I remember the devotion of your youth, your love as a bride'" (Jeremiah 2:2). Perhaps the most revealing intent of bride is what follows: "'And in that day, says the Lord, you will call me, "My Husband,"...[a]nd I will betroth you to me forever'" (Hosea 3:16, 19). C'mon!
With all of the proof texts outlined above, it has become impractical to continue plunking my head in the sand and pretending that these feminine phrasings were some hiccup during the translation process. Nonetheless, there still remains that quintessential struggle within the contemporary male mind, the manly mind. Not that getting to the crux of this bride conundrum was ever at the top of my list to discern, if in my scope of view at all. Yet, when reading or hearing references to such, there still resonates that creepy twinge. No, I am not some Neanderthal or male chauvinist pig. "Ugh, ugh, ugh...me Tarzan, she Jane!" Maybe the Holy Spirit, in his comedic way, is trying to humble me, to humble all of us fellas.
There is one more unsettling factor which contributes to what may amount to a phobia. Kisses. Not to belabor this point, but why? "O that you [Hebrew: he] would kiss me with the kisses of your [Hebrew: his] mouth" (Song of Solomon 1:2). Really! Taking all of this together, I am jumping out of my skin....
In a curious twist, reflecting on my adolescence, it is a surprise that any of this nonsense of the mind is bothersome. See, I used to kiss my mom and dad every night before going to bed, an expressed token of love. Right on the lips. If close family friends were present, they'd receive the same kisses. Right on the lips. Of course, these almost family members would not receive the words of love as my parents did. Come to think of it, I may have carried this innocent practice a little too deep into my youth - even I could detect in myself a sense of discomfort in kissing company. But, it must be admitted, I miss giving and receiving those kisses!
While reading "Sermons on the Song of Songs," Saint Bernard of Clairvaux (the patron whose name I took when becoming and Oblate of Saint Benedict), he eloquently addressed this contemporary nuptual dichotomy between Christ being the Bridegroom and us as the brides, male and female. "[B]ridegroom and bride. Between these all things are equally shared, there are no selfish reservations, nothing that causes division. They share the same inheritance, the same table, the same home, the same marriage-bed, they are flesh of each others flesh. 'This is why a man leaves his father and mother and joins himself to his wife, and they become one body.' The bride for her part is bidden to 'forget her nation and her ancestral home,' so that the bridegroom may fall in love with her beauty. Therefore if a love relationship is the special and outstanding characteristic of the bride and groom, it is not unfitting to call the soul that loves God a bride" (Sermon 7: Intimacies of the Love of God).
Taking time to discern Saint Bernard's counsel, it has become wholly necessary that I abandon any discomfort or feebleness in this regard. Actually, through Saint Bernard's assistance the phrasing which Jesus employed is quite beautiful. Sadly, I have permitted cultural and temporal ideals to negatively impact spiritual growth. All of which to say: Jesus, may I be your bride, may we enter more completely into that conventional marriage relationship?
Marana tha
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